Ilene Goldman

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A Tale of Two Knees

I've been working on listening to my body lately: eating only when my body tells me it's hungry, sleeping when my body tells me it's tired, etc. But then, at the gym the other day, I ran into a problem. My body could not agree on what it wanted. The conversation went something like this:

Scene: Second treadmill in middle row of an ocean of machines at oversized, overpriced gym. Lots of bright busy TV screens on front wall, lots of shiny mirrors on left wall, lots of windows facing an snowy, icy parking lot on the right wall, lots of sweaty people on various treadmills, ellipticals, and stair machines, loud trendy music blaring.

(Hands put headphones over ears. Finger pushes play on iPod. Decidedly-not-trendy music begins playing. Body climbs on treadmill. Finger pushes Start button.)

MUSCLES: Go faster!

(Finger pushes Faster button.)

Minutes later...

Running Man by Simon Eugster via Wikimedia Commons

MUSCLES: Faster! Let's run!

(Fingers pushes Faster button until treadmill reaches jogging speed.)

MUSCLES: YES!

KNEES: Whoa! I didn't approve this. Slow down.

MUSCLES: More!

KNEES: That's enough.

MUSCLES: MORE!

KNEES: I said, enough! FEEL MY PAIN.

BRAIN: OUCH!

(Finger pushes Slower button.)

MUSCLES: Okay, we'll take a break.

Minutes later....

MUSCLES: Let's run again.

(Fingers pushes Faster button until treadmill reaches jogging speed.)

MUSCLES: Look at us go!

KNEES: Not again. I can't take this.

MUSCLES: Aw, come on. Just a little while longer.

KNEES: Nope. FEEL MY PAIN.

BRAIN: OUCH!

(Finger pushes Slower button. Body finishes workout at medium walking speed. Knees grumble for the next 12 hours.)

 

Can't we all just get along?