I’ve lost and gained and gained and lost weight enough times
to know that I never lose or gain weight the same way twice. In other ways, I
have no way to predict how the weight loss/weight gain will change my body
shape. The only certainty is that weight
loss shows in my face first. After that, it’s anybody’s guess.
This time around, weight loss seems to be affecting my
backside first. I know this because nearly every pair of pants and shorts I own
are now too big in the behind. As I walk forward, they slide downward—often
dragging my underwear with them. As a result, I have to occasionally stop
walking to pull up the back of my pants.
So, you say, just buy pants and shorts in a smaller size!
I wish. The problem with that suggestion is that my front
and my thighs aren’t ready for a smaller size…yet.
Well then, what about a belt?
Yes, indeed. What about a belt? Well, wearing a belt makes
me look like a balloon animal: round and puffy on top; squeezed really tight in
the middle; round and puffy on the bottom. Not a flattering look. While I’m not
a fan of my body shape as it is, I find it much more palatable and attractive
when my mid-section isn’t being cinched within an inch of its life.
How about suspenders?
I love suspenders but not on me. My chest provides a rather
significant obstacle to wearing them. (Also, I’m not really sure where to buy
them. Stores within my budget don’t seem to carry them.)
Don’t get me wrong. In the grand scheme of things, this is a
good problem to have. And it’s a problem I know is temporary. At some point, my
front and my thighs will catch up (catch down?) with my backside and I’ll have
the pleasure of shopping for smaller clothes.
In the meantime, if you see a woman walking through Chicago
hiking up her pants every few feet, there’s a good chance it’s me.