More Yogi Bear Than Yogi

Courtesy of the National Archives and Records Administration
Last weekend, I saw a report on CNN about simple yoga poses that anyone can do. I decided to give them a try. Of the four poses, I could of them. That's right. One. Uno. Eine. They should have called the piece "Yoga Poses That Everyone But Ilene Can Do."

The first pose was a tree pose: stand on leg A with the foot of leg B resting on the calf of leg A. (Really advanced yogis can apparently put foot B on leg A's inner thigh.) I tried the pose. I fell over. I tried the other leg. I fell over. I've continued to try this pose every day this week. After five days of trying, I can hold this pose for a maximum of 5 seconds.

The second pose was a warrior pose: feet more than shoulder width apart, one foot turned out, arms extended at shoulder height, torso and head facing the direction of the turned-out foot. This is the one I could do. I can hold the pose for 30 seconds or more before my arms start to ache. (Who knew staying still could be such a workout?)

The third pose was a plank pose: basically a push-up position, with your arms supporting your body weight. Except that my arms can't support my body weight (yet). And because I'm horizontal on the floor when I do the pose, Benji thinks I'm down there to play with him. It's hard to give yoga the concentration and focus it requires when a dog is licking your face.

The fourth and final pose was child pose: sitting on your shins, body folded so your torso rests on  your thighs, head down, arms next to your legs. My body shape does not allow that to happen, no matter how much I try. All it does it hurt my knees.

I like the idea of yoga, and I haven't given up on it. (Maybe next week I'll be able to hold the tree pose for 10 seconds!) For now, though, I'm resigned to being more like Yogi Bear than a yogi.