I’ve always been a private person, "kept myself to myself" as the saying goes. Expressing my most intimate thoughts and feelings has never come easy. So minutes after my first blog post hit the web, I had a crashing “What was I thinking?” moment.
My weight has always been an especially sensitive subject for me. I don’t think I have a rawer nerve than that one, yet that’s the nerve I chose to expose to the whole wide world. And exposed is exactly how I felt. I might as well have been standing naked on the interstate. I still feel that way.
When I think about it, that’s one of the reasons I started this blog: to force myself to be more open about my experiences. For decades, I’ve buried my feelings and my fears—especially my fears—under all this weight. If I’m going to succeed on this journey, that’s a behavior I have to change. I have to learn to speak up when I’d rather hide. I have to learn to give voice to the things I’m afraid to even think.
Thanks to the supportive feedback I’ve received so far, it’s just a little less scary than it was a week ago.